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After several years of success at the elite level, Vanessa was easily one of the front runner's going into the 2000 Olympics, however everything seemed to be going downhill. Vanessa injured her ankle in 1999 and left her long time coach Steve Rybacki after failing to win the National Championships for the second year in a row. (1998/1999) Vanessa developed an eating disorder and began to struggle in competition, mainly on bars. In the end, she was left off the 2000 Olympic team. We caught up with Vanessa to talk about the ups and downs of her gymnastics career and what she is up to today.
How did you get started in gymnastics?
Gosh it feels so long ago, but I believe even at an early age of four years old I wanted to fit in. I remember I wanted to be a cheerleader and marry a football player because I believed that was how you made friends! So my mom signed me up for gymnastics classes at a local gym.
As a young girl who was your gymnastics idol?
I really had so many. I remember my first idol was Kim Zmeskal. I was obsessed with her floor routine and her three whipbacks in a row to double back. I wanted to be just like her! As I got older and began competing in the elite world I idolized Elena Produnova and Simona Amanar.
Throughout your gymnastics career you always seemed to struggle on bars. Why do you think that was?
Bars just wasn't my event. I think everyone could see that even when I hit, it wasn't comparable to a lot of elite athletes. Even in level 6 I recall struggling with my clear hip circle. I never quite felt at ease on bars. I feel like I always swung in panic and anxiety. As I got older I improved on bars and could make my routines many times in practice, maybe not as much as most elite gymnasts, but I managed. I believe the nerves got to me more in competitions and I did not know how to think positively when I stepped onto that mat. I was always thinking about the worst possible scenario. I believe that is just one of my personality flaws. Whenever I struggle with something, I need a lot of encouragement from another person to block out the doubts in my head.
Can you talk about the decision to switch from your long time club Charter Oak to WOGA in 1999?
This is always hard to talk about because I feel this decision hurt so many people and it hurt my image as a gymnast as well- but sometimes you make mistakes and I believe this was one of them. Really what happened was I was upset with Steve, my coach. He had hurt my feelings at a competition and believe me, it doesn't take much to hurt my feelings. I was always a very sensitive person. Whatever he said to me at the time, I don't even remember now, probably wouldn't have bothered most elite gymnasts. He was just being tough on me and instead of communicating my feelings to him, I told my mom I wanted to quit. Now mind you I made this decision at the worst moment, which was right after I had lost another national title. I had made a decision off of emotion. I went to WOGA out of fear of disappointing a lot of people, but I just wanted to quit. What I should have done was talked with Steve and things would have been okay. A learning lesson for me to always communicate your feelings and do not make quick decisions when emotions are high. I love Beth and Steve and I believe we have a great relationship now.
You were one of the first "big" elite names to come from WOGA- which would go on to become one of the most accomplished gyms in the world. How does that make you feel?
Well, it's weird. I'm sure they don't look at me that way. I'm sure they feel their real WOGA elite gymnasts were Hollie Vise, Carly Patterson, Marie Fjordholm, etc. I believe most of those gymnasts were brought up in that gym. I will always consider myself a Glider gymnast, but I appreciate that Valeri had me at one of the toughest times of my career and I can take some positive things I learned from WOGA as well.
Can you talk about the decision to go pro versus staying amateur and keeping your NCAA eligibility? Was college gymnastics ever an option for you?
Another bad decision. But it's easy to say hindsight! College was an option and Valorie Kondos even took me on a little tour of UCLA. But I was always the girl getting wonderful offers before I had won anything, so it seemed to be a great idea to make a good living for when gymnastics was over. Who knew what was going to happen with the end of my career. I also recall at a young age looking at college gymnastics as something of a big step down from the elite world, and I don't say that to be insulting- I just didn't know. I was never interested in it. Later watching my former teammates compete in college and seeing the joy, camaraderie, and skill level- you better believe I regret it. Especially losing out on an amazing education! But I'm not going to beat myself up for it. You live with your decisions and move on.
Going pro gave Vanessa the opportunity to appear in a commercial for Reese's in 1999.
Looking back at your career, do you have any other regrets?
I believe there are many choices I made that I wish I hadn't, but who knows where that would have taken me. All I know is that the choices I made have taken me where I am today, and today I couldn't be happier. I would never want to take myself away from the life I have now.
After everything you had accomplished, do you feel you deserved a spot on the 2000 Olympic team?
No. Looking back, I'm glad I did not make it. I believe with the frame of mind I was in, I probably would have gotten hurt or done terrible. But don't get me wrong, to not be able to say I'm an Olympian still hurts me everyday. If the trials were in 1999, then yes I should have gone. But oh what a difference a year makes.
After the 2000 Olympics did you consider a comeback or did you know you were done?
I did consider it several times and I tried, but for me it was just too hard to get back in shape and the fear of failing again was just too much for me to handle. I still dream about it sometimes, just for fun!
In 2005 you went on a reality TV show called Starting Over to help you move on from some of the difficulties you experienced during your gymnastics career. What was that experience like and do you think going on the show helped you?
Starting Over was an amazing experience. Yes it was a show in the end, but the words they spoke to me definitely changed me for life. I think the biggest thing the show did for me was it took away my anger and let me forgive people. It also made me realize that because of my fear of failure, I really did send myself into a self sabotage kind of mode. So it just put my experience in a different perspective and I could look at it more clearly and understand why it all happened, which gave me peace.
You did accomplish a lot in your gymnastics career, what are you most proud of?
I think being the first American gymnast to compete the front handspring rudi on vault was a good one. Also to know that my name, as small as it may be, will always be in gymnastics history of being a national champion!
What is the coolest thing you've got to experience from being a gymnast?
I think to have the chance of hearing the crowd pump you up before a floor routine. Hearing so many people screaming "Go Vanessa!" is an amazing feeling. It feels like all the people in the audience are your friends and in that moment you can feel the love and it can lift you in the air!
If you had the choice to compete as an elite gymnast in this day, under today's code, or back in the late 90's/early 2000's like you did, which would you choose?
Gosh, that is too hard, just because I couldn't handle any of the things gymnasts do nowadays! But to be able to be a specialist is appealing! I think being a beam and vault specialist now would be so much fun! My floor endurance would have suffered with all those passes they have to do now, so floor definitely would be out!
Team USA appears to be more cohesive today then they were back in your time. Why do you think that is?
Well, their system is so perfected now. It's obvious they have found something that works for the team. We have never had coaches work together so close and have an opportunity to learn from each other. USA was always just separate gyms competing against each other and then trying to come together for Worlds and Olympics. Now these coaches and gymnasts see each other once a month and feed off each other. We have so many young, smart, passionate coaches in America and all we do now is share our knowledge. How could you not be the best from this system!
What is a typical day like for you? What have you been up to today?
I leave for work at 8:30am and bring my son with me. My son Darwin is five months old and the love of my life! We have an employee daycare at work, which I am extremely grateful for. I work at American Kid Sports Center in Bakersfield, California. From 9am-1pm I work with our Optional group, which are levels 7-9, with our vault and bar coach Dallas Becerra. From 1pm-5pm I work with our TOPS group. We have some little six year old dynamos that have a great future and always make me laugh! After that I get my son from daycare and drive home. I hand the baby off to my husband and try to get some "me" time. I shower, eat, nap, go on Pinterest, and work on some writing.
I am in the process of writing a children's book and I'm so excited about it! I wrote it when I was pregnant and now I'm just making the finishing touches. I hope for it to be out on e-book and Amazon by the end of the year. I wanted to write something that helps parents with children that are wanting to quit and struggling with failure. It is really light and bubbly and is based on some of my experiences. I wanted to do something positive for gymnastics, instead of writing some sad, dramatic, story about my career. So I thought it would be better to keep things positive- you know, the thing I'm always trying to work on!
If you saw elite potential in one of the girls you coached, would you be willing to take her to that level?
Yes, I believe I would. I had my coaches Beth and Steve to help mentor me and many other great people. I think I would be very protective over the gymnast and make sure they were not getting hurt emotionally. I know how tough it is and I would just want to make sure they came away from the sport with a positive feeling.
We would like to thank Vanessa for talking about her story with us. We also want to wish her all the best in the future!